Petra: hiii are we good
How have you been feeling this summer overall?
P: lol like shit
L.A really bums me out
I’ve had to be there for so much of it
like literally no one ever goes outside
and it’s so lonely
M: Yeah I feel u
I was really depressed
But when I changed my surroundings and like took charge
of the situation I’ve felt way better
I think that’s the thing about being older is like recognizing when u aren’t happy and changing it
I know where and when i’m happy
and if and when I need to get out
its also easier to create art when i’m sad or angry though haha
its a crazy thing
anger is like my main driving force I feel
M: Yeah seriously I’ve done so much for myself in that way when I feel isolated
Which is kinda fucked up but I guess a positive can come out of a negative lol
Whats been ur summer sad song?
P: i’m going through my spotify
i’ve been obsessed with What’s Up by 4NonBlondes which is lol
but it makes me angry and sad and happy at the same time and I always sing along to it
M: Yeah I love that
Also Joey by Concrete Blonde So good sad and empowering
P: omg ya joey!!!
I think i’ve made a big realization in my life about my past aka certain toxic relationship and i’ve created a lot of work out of it
M: Thats really good!
What have you done to change it
P: I dunno it literally took so long
but cheesy as it sounds i’ve made art
because as much as I want to speak to this person and tell them how they’ve hurt me i just said fuck it and made some stuff.
I feel like we both went through that
its hard too because I feel like the “art world” especially in nyc is the same shit like that of a bad abusive relationship.
dudes who just rape and fuck you over and want you to get the fuck out of their scene.
its crazy how sexism classism and racism still exist heavily
M: Wow I know it makes me so sad
I mean the times I feel most depressed are inherently because dudes
Which makes me so mad
and it sucks that as a women and women artists we can’t really escape the patriarchy
and for me white supremacy
I’ve thought a lot about that this summer actually and have done a lot of reading to help cope
Like bell hooks obviously, her book ‘the will to change’ really shifted my perception of the world this summer
And how systems of oppression fuck EVERYONE over not just me
P: wait explain bell hooks
M: its about men masculinity and love
it just kind of explains how patriarchy fucks over men by having them try so hard to be unemotional and in turn they break our hearts
but also I think that as we grow more comfortable with ourselves the less we will have to rely on other people for our wholeness and happiness
but maybe lets switch gears – what was your best moment this summer as a happy way to end off?
best part was visiting my family in budapest , Anna hadn’t been back in 8 years which is crazy
M: So grounding
P: ya it was really good to see my grandma and my aunt and my sister all in one place
all generations of women
because each one has gone through so much and is so strong it was really inspiring
M: thats really beautiful
M: I feel the same way, going away to London with my mom and grandma was really special
I dont think we have ever traveled just the three of us and I dont know when it will happen again
so I feel lucky to have had that oppurtunity
We are all so alike though lol our voices, our style, I can imagine anyone else in our family wouldve been like so annoyed. Baha
P: HAHA omg i know
its so crazy with you guys
well im excited to see you next week we can be happy lol
or sad together hahaha
P: love u too!